The Borgias Season Sum Up (Part 8)

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We're at the season finale dear reader!

Episode 9: Nessuno

Lucrezia leads King Charles, della Rovere, Giulia, and the entire French army into Rome. Della Rovere takes advantage of his last ditch effort to call for the Pope’s deposition; Giulia promptly shuts him down. Charles is surprised to see the streets empty; della Rovere had promised Rome would welcome him with cheers and open arms to depose the Borgia Pope. Fed up with della Rovere’s foolish and seemingly misplaced idealism, Charles asks Lucrezia to take him to her father. Lucrezia agrees, walking the French king into the Sistine Chapel.

Charles is shocked to find Rodrigo dressed in simple friar’s clothing and praying in an empty cathedral. We quickly realize Charles has had a change of heart; indeed, it would seem like Charles had no intensions of deposing the Borgia Pope. He begs Rodrigo for guidance in his position as king and absolution for his war-loving soul. Rodrigo grants him this, and promises to reaffirm the French King’s right to the thrown by crowning him in the Sistine Chapel. For his support of the Borgia Papacy, Rodrigo promises Charles Naples (basically).

Meanwhile, Lucrezia is walking the empty halls of the Vatican. Cesare comes up behind her and we remember why there are shippers for these two. The brother and sister go for a walk and Lucrezia confides in Cesare she is pregnant, but not with her husband’s baby. Cesare, first and foremost, is furious that Giovanni Sforza proved exceedingly ungallant, and second is worried about Lucrezia’s health. Cesare then takes Lucrezia to his nunnery (the one he’s the benefactor of…not his nunnery…you remember) to finish out her pregnancy. Ursula will be watching over her. And might I say the scene with all three of them together is just—so amazingly awkward.

Rodrigo, his conviction now strengthened by his success over della Rovere’s deposition, plans to humiliate the cardinals who fled during the Papacy’s hour of need and make them pay—literally. After the college’s painful punishment, Rodrigo and Cesare have dinner with the French to highlight their good will. Charles demands a papal legate to join him in his quest for Naples and chooses Cesare for the position. While both Cesare and Rodrigo know this is a protection clause for the French King and Cesare will amount to nothing more than a hostage, Rodrigo agrees.

At Charles’ “papal coronation”, Cesare tries to extend an olive branch to della Rovere, but to no avail. Della Rovere says he will always hate all Borgias and refuses to act in any way beneficial to the current papacy.

Micheletto joins Ceasre on the road to Naples and its clearl both are hostages of France. As Rodrigo suggested, Cesare finds his way home—quickly and without much difficulty—and on his way, picks up Giovanni Sforza. For failing to support the Borgias, Rodrigo demands Giovanni’s marriage to Lucrezia be annulled. Giovanni, of course, refuses.

And when he does, Rodrigo smiles. With or without Giovanni’s consent, the Borgias will get what they want. Lucrezia, now super pregnant with Paolo’s child, testifies that her husband was unable to consummate their marriage because he is impotent. Its a good thing they put her behind a screen, but she is so pregant even the blind cardinals would have been able to tell. Giovanni denies this claim. The church then demands proof Giovanni is not impotent; they demand “proof of potency”. Really, it’s just a fancy way of saying Giovanni has to sleep with a whore, in front of all the cardinals, to prove he could consummate his marriage. Once in the room with the whore, and all the cardinals: Giovanni refuses to have sex in public and concedes. Lucrezia’s marriage is annulled and Giovanni leaves humiliated to all of Rome.

Finally reaching Naples, France gets a nasty surprise: plague has ravaged the city state. Alfonso is done, there are piles and piles of dead bodies everywhere, and France definitely feels betrayed.

The season ends with the entire family waiting in Cesare’s nunnery chapel, the screams of Lucrezia echoing throughout the halls. She has a blissfully cherubim little Paolo and all is right with the world. For now.

The Borgias Season Sum Up (Part 7)

Read the whole season summary here.

Episode 8: The Art of War

Early in the morning and with the help of Paolo, Giulia and Lucrezia escape Pesaro. While Lucrezia is optimistic to see her Narcissus again, she knows that everything will change once she leaves. For his help, Paolo is whipped and while he doesn’t reveal where the ladies have gone, he does let Giovanni know Lucrezia finds him repellent and implies that she much prefers stable boys. On the road to Rome, the ladies are captured by French forces and taken hostage by the king. (It was all very polite, actually--considering how the French have acted thus far.) Lucrezia, the captured, easily dazzles the French King and captures him in her allure. At dinner, with della Rovere present, Lucrezia charms Charles by telling him his fortune and begins her careful plan to protect her family and the papacy. Clearly, everyone's patience for della Rovere is wearing thin.

In Rome, Rodrigo feels power slipping from him. All the cardinals and many citizens are fleeing: fearing that the French will sack Rome and the Vatican before moving on toward Naples. Rodrigo demands a review of the guard. Cesare, unsure and frustrated, has to go find his thoughtless brother in a whore house and drags him to his father’s presence. Italy has never faced cannons before, and unable to fathom that France would use them in battlefield combat, Juan plots to meet the French King just there to outwit the cannons. (Cesare knows better -- okay, that's what I've been led to believe...and yet everyone is dazzled by Juan's military know-how.)

Juan’s forces and the French army meet just outside Rome and Charles does exactly what Juan never thought would happen – he fires the cannons. Lucrezia, terrified for her brother and sick from the carnage, gallops into the middle of the field to beg Juan retreat, saying they would offer safe passage through Rome to Naples. Confused but trusting, Juan listens to his sister and turns about.

As French forces begin to enter the city, Cesare goes to beg Ursula to leave Rome. When she tells him she will not leave and says his name, Cesare begs her to at least let him protect the abbey. She agrees, saying it is his abbey after all. (Their love? Totally hopeless; yet very very sweet.)

Rodrigo searches his soul desperately for guidance. When his soul is quiet, he turns to his Spanish monk for advice. Standing in the Vatican, looking at the monk’s simple robes, Rodrigo finds his inspiration. He will face the French invasion, and he will do it humbly in Spanish sandals and brown robe.

The Borgias Season Sum Up (Part 6)

Read the Full Season Summary Here

Episode 7: Death on a Pale Horse

Lucrezia is visiting home, and decides to rain on everyone's already mopey parade. Still very young, remember she's only 13, she questions Cesare on the reasons for her marriage (knowing very well the rationale has seemed to crumble before the family's eyes), stating she remembers it was for something important. After talking with Lucrezia who will soon be leaving again, Cesare searches for Ursula frantically, eventually finding her in his own nunnery (a nunnery he’s the benefactor of, not his personal nunnery…ew) and begs her to change her mind. She insists this new vocation is her path in life and refuses to even say his name.

All of Rome begins to fear as word of a French invasion travels throughout the city states and many of the cardinals and nobility begin to show their lack of loyalty for the Borgia Pope. This includes the Sforzas; all the Sforzas.##

Speaking of a Sforza, Giovanni is more than ready to get back in the saddle with his very young Borgia wife. And Lucrezia is absolutely not ready to give her freedom, and peaceful nights, up. She places a huge puddle of water between herself and her bedroom’s entrance and like clockwork Giovanni slips right on it. Not long after, Giulia comes to visit. Giovanni is clear he will not be supporting Rodrigo in the war against France (as he's already informed his wife), and Lucrezia is clearly pregnant—and of course it isn’t Giovanni’s baby. Giulia plans to take Lucrezia home to Rome before they both are unable to flee.

France is much closer. They are at the gates of Lucca. Still thinking they can withstand the French forces, Lucca refuses Charles VIII passage. And France is more than happy to take their passage if not welcomed. They use their cannons and destroy the walls of Lucca and then rape, pillage, and plunder the city. Della Rovere, horrified and repulsed, demands Charles stop the carnage. Charles, blatantly, refuses and continues on. (Meanwhile, the Duke of Naples, Alphonso’s already half-dead father, dies.)

After Rodrigo hears about Lucca, della Rovere’s connection, and the fact most of Rome will roll over quietly for France (Florence does only days later), he tries to have della Rovere excommunicated. It goes over like a lead balloon.* Out of options and fearing God has abandoned him as Pope, Rodrigo brings in his spiritual Spanish guide to sooth his soul.

##Yeah, they’re big jerks.
*Cesare tried to warn him the Cardinals will not approve, but Rodrigo's blind optimism out plays Cesare's caution.

The Borgias Season Sum Up (Part 5)

Read the full season summary here

Episode 6: The French King

Giovanni, broken leg and all, begins to be charmed and tamed by his young wife. Meanwhile, his young wife is still charming the stable boy.** And let us not forget about Cesare and Ursula. With her husband “gone” for a few days, Ursula meets Cesare at the Borgia villa and falls into a days-long tryst. Later, Ursua discovers that Cesare has actually, liberated her, and – horrified that her dreams have come true—she joins a nunnery. ^

This is an act that is rather muddled in the show. On the surface, it looks like Ursula is horrified at the ease Cesar, a cardinal, was able to act; however Cesare explains his rationale and reasoning so beautifully, there is no way she could not love him. Here’s my take: Ursula flees to a nunnery because she has sinned; she wished her husband dead; she gave into Cesare. Ursula is repulsed by her own actions and takes the only action she can: she denies herself Cesare, the only thing she wants. It has nothing to do with Cesare other than he is her object of affection.

With the threat of France becoming real, Rodrigo and Juan look to find another suitable marriage alliance. Juan, clear to state he’ll marry a legitimate heir or no one, pawns all the prospective women on to his little brother Gioffre – who is younger than Lucrezia. Of course, this doesn’t stop Juan from sampling the finest of the candidates. Oh no, he makes a special visit to creeptastic Naples to visit Alphonso, his father, and his bastard sister Sancia. In short, and I won’t mince words, Juan and Sancia are sluts, and worse than that: they’re sluts in the stuff enemies room. In the end, there is another Borgia marriage and Gioffre becomes Duke of Naples. The only plus? Lucrezia gets to come home for the wedding. Oh, and Vannozza was invited to this one.

On a side note: now rejected by Rodrigo, Vannozza’s first husband—a goat farmer—returns (actually, he returned in episode 4) and they start their relationship up anew. Both Cesare and Juan question their paternity and their destinies when he shows up: Juan in his characteristically angry way, and Cesare in his more composed, thoughtful way.

Not to be outdone, della Rovere has finally met up with the French King, Charles VIII. In exchange for harles supporting della Rovere as Pope, Rovere promises clear and safe passage to French troops. Charles laughs in his face: France, with its CANNONS absolutely does not need della Rovere’s help, but now that Rovere is on this path, he has to see it through.

**Who is now not only called Paolo, but Narcissus too; to which he says he can’t read and so Lucrezia “schools him” in classic Greek mythology. I don’t really get the whole Narcissus thing, but I wasn’t much of a Paolo fan to begin with.
^In episode 5 we discover Ursula will have a few days alone as her husband travels away. Her and Cesare plot this as their tryst time; Cesare just plots a little more permanently.

The Borgias Season Sum-Up (Part 4)

Read the full season summary here

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode five opens with Rodrigo having nightmares about his dear Lucreiza dead and unforgiving. One of Rodrigo’s most redeeming qualities in the show is his continual questioning of his own actions. Subconsciously, he is always weighing and balancing his soul against the actions he is taking. It still doesn’t stop him from planning another marriage—for either Juan or Gioffre.

Now that Lucrezia is gone, Cesare focuses all his attention on liberating Ursula from her controlling husband. He hunts Ursula quietly, slowly, wearing down her reserve against him.# Promising her he will not get into harm’s way, Cesare enlists Micheletto’s help to sharpen his fighting technique. It pays off; at the end of the episode Cesare kills Ursula’s husband.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo also has Cesare follow della Rovere’s lead: sending him to Florence to talk with the de Medici and Niccolò Machiavelli about their allegiance with Rome.^ They say what most have said: do what you want, make the plans you want, but if France wants Naples, you’re on your own.

Lucrezia, in her new household in Pesaro, finds marriage not wonderful at all. Her husband’s a bear who hates her and her nights are a waking nightmare. Her only comfort is her new maid and the stable boy Paolo. Lucrezia seduces the poor boy, who seems completely out of his depth, eventually getting him to sabotage Giovanni’s saddle, making him fall and break his leg. Lucrezia’s plan for her husband is to “tame him” with this broken leg, bringing her to greater freedom in her new household.

#Somehow this girl missed the memo on Cesare Borgia: ladies man, mans man, man about town…she actually thinks she’s safe around him and that he won’t act on his feelings for her. This can only end badly.
^History girl gush moment: NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI WAS SO COOL! The talk between Cesare and Niccolo: it’s like watching history in the making that never happened. OMG.

Borgias Season Sum-up (part 3)

Read the full season summary here

Episode 4: Lucreiza’s Wedding

Rodrigo has made a decision, Lucrezia must marry. And if he has to shell out a huge dowry, he’s going to get a lucrative alliance in exchange. And so, he decides on a lucrative alliance with Giovanni Sforza, the cousin of Ludovico, Rodrigo’s vice chancellor. Giovanni has the money and strategic land holdings in Italy that Rodrigo hopes will prove useful in a coming war with France.

Della Rovere continues his mission to bring down the Borgias, making his rounds throughout Italy’s wealthy nobility: pushing his case. Most notably he goes to Naples, with its creep-tastic family.# Micheletto sends a spy to follow della Rovere and, no surprise, the spy fails (epically...with a knife through the eyes).

As the wedding fast approaches, Vannozza (Cesare and Lucreiza’s mother) is banned from the festivities, due to her scandalous past.* Meanwhile, Giulia is invited to everything. Cesare, in his new Cardinal’s robes, officiates the marriage and could not be more unhappy about it. Even though his mother was not allowed at the ceremony, Cesare runs home before the reception and brings Vannozza as his guest.

Juan produces a hugely lavish and inappropriate play in honor of his sister’s wedding, there’s a lot of drinking and dancing, and Cesare meets Ursula Bonadeo -- who will be his main love interest for this season (no, we aren’t counting Lucreiza in the love interest category. She’s a given). They have a longing-filled, soul-tortured dance, where at the end Ursula begs him to “liberate me” and then her husband shows up to take her home.

The night ends with Cesare—not Giovanni—taking Lucreiza to bed, she’s 13: she should be exhausted, and he wishes the best for her in this new marriage.

We soon realize, once Giovanni’s taken her home to Pesaro, how hopeless those wishes were. Giovanni calls their wedding shameless, professes his hate for the Borgia tainted blood, and proves extremely ungallant for his new wife.^

#And I’m talking UBBER creepy. This guy stuffs his dead enemies and sets them up like the last supper. His son’s voice: is like nails on a chalkboard, he has a ho for a bastard daughter, and on the whole: they’re nasty, nasty human begins. The duke of Milan is bad, but nothing compared to Naples.
*Scandal is putting it lightly. She’s known as the great whore of Spain. You would think Rodrigo actually stole her from a king or something. Alas no, she’s just a woman already married.
^And yet no dinner knife deaths ensues.

Summaries for Episode 1 & 2 | Episode 3

Brogias Season Sum-up (part 2)

Read the Full Season Summary Here

Episode 3: The Moor

We quickly realize that Rodrigo has much more in mind than just the papacy for his own lifetime, even if he himself does not fully realize it. He plans to make Cesare a cardinal in Orsini’s place and begins looking at powerful alliances he can make through the marriage of his children. To bring in more money, Rodrigo allows Jews in to Rome for a fee and agrees to sponsor a Turkish Prince, Cem, for a nice sum.

After being whipped by Cesare, Micheletto goes to della Rovere and asks to be of use to remove the Borgia stain from Rome. Della Rovere, seeing the proof of Micheletto’s whipping (a la lemon juice)* agrees to use the assassin in his plans. And bingo! Cesare has his spy exactly where he wants him! And then its ruined not 10 minutes later when Micheletto botches an assassination attempt on della Rovere and gets himself seen too -- all the way in Naples.

Lucrezia and Cem become very close, likewise Cesare and Cem come to a mutual respect and understanding, prompting the Turkish prince to reject his religion and homeland and wish to become a Christian.^ But, he’ll never get the chance. Juan (the middle brother and consequently the one who can never do anything right) gets a hint that killing Cem would get Rodrigo not just his lodging money, but also hush money. Juan, since Cesare will not allow him to use Micheletto, finds a second-rate assassin and poisons Cem—badly. A slow and painful death ensues. Cesare, furious with Juan’s bumbling, makes him finish the job. Rodrigo gets all the money he wanted, plus some.

This is also the episode with the infamous “gallant dinner knife” dialogue between Cesare and Lucrezia.

*There’s a nasty little rumor too that della Rovere “like the male torso”; this, however, is never expanded upon in later episodes.
^Here’s the thing, Cem is a sweet boy and his brother wants him gone so he won’t contest the throne. Ultimately his conversion would have been open war with the Ottoman Empire (I think that’s the right term during this time period), thus when Juan has the boy killed, it not only helps his Turkish brother by eliminating an heir for his throne, but will also buy the Borgias a great deal more money to have facilitated his death.

Summaries for Episode 1 & 2

The Borgias: A Season Sum-up (part 1)

Wished you watched The Borgias this season? Caught a few episodes and were totally lost? Need to remember the highlights, but don’t want to spend time wading though painfully long dissertations? And just plain don’t want to rewatch the hour-long episodes? Well, I’m here to give you the short, annotated version by episode of the 9 episode season – with pictures, quotes, youtube links, and more!

Download the full blow-by-blow here; or read in installments. Episodes 1 & 2 below.

Episodes 1 & 2: The Poisoned Chalice & The Assassin

The Borgias season begins with Rodrigo Borgia begging, borrowing, and simonying his way into the most holy of holy offices.* With the help of his eldest son, Cesare (pronounced Che-zA-ray), outside the Vatican, Rodrigo is able to buy just enough votes from the college of cardinals during conclave to become Pope^. While he does become the living embodiment of God on Earth, he does make some serious enemies in Cardinals Dei Cattanei, Orsini, and della Rovere who viciously oppose a Spaniard becoming pope, and one powerful ally in a Ludovico Sforza.#

We learn quickly that while Rodrigo is the head of the family, Cesare is most certainly the brains. A reluctant man in the cloth, Cesare desperately wishes a different life for himself; however, his strong loyalty to his family chains him to his pre-determined life. Cesare is the type of man who can see the larger picture. Thus, while his father sees the throne of St. Peter’s as the culmination of his life, Cesare sees past his father coronation to the problematic life which will soon surround them. Before and during his father’s election to the Papacy, Cesare fiercely protects his family: always watching over this hot-headed and foolish brother Juan, and lovingly nurturing his little sister Lucrezia.**

Once Rodrigo is crowned Pope, Cardinal Orsini (who royally puts his foot in his mouth) throws a banquet in his honor. At the banquet, where all the Cardinals are present, Cesare notices some suspicious activity (which had something to do with a monkey metaphor) and goes to investigate, while prowling the kitchens he meets Micheletto, who will become the Papacy’s assassin for hirer. Ready to prove his loyalty, Micheletto betrays Orsini and gives the cardinal the poison intended for the Pope, killing him; he also takes Cesare to halt the attack on the rest of the Borgia family later that night. (Later he is whipped, at his own request, to prove his loyalty.)

As Pope, Rodrigo is also confessor to a select group of individuals: first his son, who in explicit terms tells his father everything he had to do to make him Pope and states that the fact he can do these actions must mean he is not meant for the cloth – Rodrigo refuses his request to leave the church; second, is Giulia Farnese (pronounced Julia Fon-nay-say): a rare beauty who fled her husband’s house after having an abortion. Rodrigo—for lack of a better term—takes pity on her and gives her Orsini’s villa which is connected through secret tunnels to the Vatican. And with whispers of Rodrigo and Giulia’s relationship funneling through the Vatican and Rome itself, della Rovere sees his time to act. Which backfires, and there’s that whole dead girl in his bed that makes him flee Rome thing at the end too.

*This includes paying in gold, property, and food; threatening others, and bargaining top offices in the new Papal government.

^Alexander VI

#Ally might be a strong word. The Sforzas have a great deal of land and are connected throughout Italy, but really what Rodrigo needs is Ludovico’s vote.

**Do I subscribe to the Cesare/Lucrezia love fest? Okay, yeah. Please tell me one person who doesn’t? It’s more that these two look so pretty together and Arnaud always has this face when looking at his sister that makes these two a pairing.